i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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