I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
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