dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I am available for nakedness
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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