So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
