butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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