I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
You left your phone here
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