My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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