Whod you bang
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
