ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
it's great music for shaving your balls
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
