I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
