fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
