It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
