did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
