Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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