It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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