When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
