either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
