Small penises have feelings too.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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