there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
