They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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