is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
