Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
