ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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