How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
