If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I checked into jail on foursquare
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
