I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
found the other keg... it's in the tree
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
