people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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