Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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