Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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