sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
