my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
