I'm eating all of the evidence.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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