My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
