i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
