Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
