she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
