it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
