It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
