Pants 0. Shit 1.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize