Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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