i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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