all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
