just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize