Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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