Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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