I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize