i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
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