Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
