I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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