Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry surfergirll1530 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(305): View more from Florida

Goddamnit I hate your level headedness

Fav 2 1401 811
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(720): View more from Colorado

How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.

Fav 7 3097 871
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(410): View more from Maryland

Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.

Fav 4 4494 1494
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(410): View more from Maryland

My mouth holds just enough water for my bong

Fav 7 2336 1254
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(972): View more from Texas

I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.

Fav 3 2312 918
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(843): View more from South Carolina

Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.

Fav 11 778 2101
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(773): View more from Illinois

If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.

Fav 12 1003 1423
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(620): View more from Kansas

Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me

Fav 2 291 140
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(817): View more from Texas

She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.

Fav 0 49 6
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