Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
