Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
