Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize