Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
