they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
