just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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