She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
