If that was your dad, he is hot
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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