Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
