i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
