another moral hangover. fuck.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
