I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
There r osticjed everywhere
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
