he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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